My 10-day Vipassana Meditation Experience

Part 0.1: Content

Part 0: Content and notations

Part 1: Motivation

Part 2: What is Vipassana meditation?

Part 3: Format of the course

Part 4: Course daily timetable

Part 5: Day 0 — Preparation and interview

Part 6: Day 1 — Anapanasati meditation

Part 7: Day 2 — Reducing the area

Part 8: Insights from Anapanasati

Part 9: Why work with breath?

Part 10: Day 3 — Somewhere between Anapanasati and Vipassana

Part 11: Day 4 and Day 5 — Start of Vipassana meditation

Part 12: Vipassana — to see things as they really are

Part 13: Gautama the Buddha

Part 14: Annica, nature of sensations

Part 15: Day 6 — Next step of Vipassana

Part 16: Day 7 — Developing Free Flow and eliminating Blind areas

Part 17: Day 8 — Free flow in different directions

Part 18: Day 9 — Free flow along the spine

Part 19: Two wheels of progress — equanimity and sensitivity

Part 20: Craving and aversion are causes of misery

Part 21: Start to end: Multiplication of misery

Part 22: Where to break the cycle?

Part 23: Nature of the unconscious mind

Part 24: Action and Reaction

Part 25: How to deal with negative Emotions

Part 26: Day 10 — Mettā Bhāvanā and breaking of noble silence

Part 27: Day 11 — End of course and goodbye

Part 28: Closing remarks

Part 29: External Links

Part 0.1: Disclaimer

This article doesn't teach Vipassana as it should be learned under the guidance of a teacher in a 10-day course. It only covers an overview, explanations and personal experience.

Part 0.2: Notations

1. (C): Claimed by Vipassana teacher/ Buddha
2. (E): Experienced by me
3. (CE): Claimed by Vipassana teacher/ Buddha and experienced
4. (CPE): Claimed by Vipassana teacher/ Buddha and partially experienced

Part 1: Motivation

We all have faced misery at some point in our life.

A death of a friend or a family member, failing an exam we prepared very hard for, a bad breakup, being fired from a job, divorce, the count is endless.

Even if one hasn’t come across such an event, some events are likely to happen in our life which will make us miserable. Even the thought of the same happening in future makes one miserable in the present.

Mankind has engineered and discovered solutions for essential problems like housing, sanitation, travel, finance, medicine, etc. Yet, we are far away from solving mental problems.

Various approaches to dealing with misery have been discussed, researched and preached but none seems to have an ever-lasting effect. For me, these approaches felt like a bandage to the wound rather than finding the root which caused the wound.

I never could comfort a friend or family who was experiencing misery. “Everything will be fine”, “Everything happens for a reason” and false cheerfulness did not sit well with me. Who knows the future? Maybe the situation will become worse. How can I lie and give false hope? I didn’t know how to truly help.

In my quest to find a solution to misery, I experimented with different approaches like exercising, venting, listening to masters, praying, chanting mantras, etc. These did bring immediate but temporary relief. Whenever negative emotions used to surface again, I was miserable. None of these solutions seemed to have an ever-lasting effect.

One such quest was to learn the Vipassana technique, Siddhartha Gautama’s approach to dealing with misery.

Part 2: What is Vipassana meditation?

According to dhamma.org:

Vipassana is one of India’s most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gotama the Buddha more than 2500 years ago.

The word Vipassana means seeing things as they really are.

It is the process of self-purification by self-observation.

One begins by observing the natural breath to concentrate the mind. With a sharpened awareness, one proceeds to observe the changing nature of body and mind and experiences the universal truths of impermanence, suffering and egolessness.

This truth realization by direct experience is the process of purification. The entire path (Dhamma) is a universal remedy for universal problems and has nothing to do with any organized religion or sectarianism.

For this reason, it can be freely practised by everyone, at any time, in any place, without conflict due to race, community or religion, and will prove equally beneficial to one and all.

What Vipassana is not:

• It is not a rite or ritual based on blind faith.
• It is neither intellectual nor philosophical entertainment.
• It is not a rest cure, a holiday, or an opportunity for socializing.
• It is not an escape from the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

What Vipassana is:

• It is a technique that will eradicate suffering.
• It is a method of mental purification which allows one to face life’s tensions and problems in a calm, balanced way.
• It is an art of living that one can use to make positive contributions to society.

Part 3: Format of the course

The student needs to stay at the Vipassana centre for 10 days. Along with it, the student must follow the following precepts during the course:

1. To abstain from killing any being;
2. To abstain from stealing;
3. To abstain from all sexual activity;
4. To abstain from telling lies;
5. To abstain from all intoxicants.
6. To abstain from eating after midday;
7. To abstain from sensual entertainment and bodily decorations;
8. To abstain from using high or luxurious beds.
9. To abstain from practising other meditation techniques, rites, and forms of worship
10. To observe Noble Silence, that is to abstain from any form of communication with fellow students, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited
11. Complete segregation of men and women is to be maintained
12. That throughout the course there be no physical contact between persons of the same or opposite sex.
13. No drugs, alcohol, or other intoxicants should be brought to the site
14. No Religious Objects, Rosaries, Crystals, Talismans, etc. be kept during the course.
15. Dress should be simple, modest, and comfortable
16. Eat vegetarian food provided at the centre
17. Students must remain within the course boundaries throughout the course.

Part 4: Course daily timetable

The schedule is designed for one to practice meditation for close to 10 hours a day.

Part 5: Day 0 — Preparation and interview

There are 234 centres Vipassana meditation centres around the world affiliated with dhamma.org. I did my course at Dhamma Paphulla, located on Bengaluru's outskirts. We were asked to report to the centre before 4 PM. Each person was allotted a separate house (1 Bed and 1 Bathroom). We had to deposit any electronic devices, wallets and reading material. Everyone had a one-on-one interview with the teacher who explained the rules, and the importance of noble silence and gave a go-ahead. The course started the next day at 4 am.

Part 6: Day 1 - Anapanasati meditation

Ānāpānasati (Pali; Sanskrit ānāpānasmṛti), meaning “mindfulness of breathing” (“sati” means mindfulness; “ānāpāna” refers to inhalation and exhalation) is paying attention to the breath.

It’s a simple concentration technique where we focus our attention on the nasal cavities, the gates of our nostrils and the area between the nose and the upper lip (from now referred to as the “area”)

We try to be aware of the sensations caused in this area by our inhaling and exhaling breath.

Unlike other breathing exercises, we don’t try to change our breath but observe it as it is.

There is no effort to be a doer but rather an observer.

Watching breath one realizes if it's fast or slow, cold or hot, short or long, breath entering from the left nostril or the right nostril or both, breath exiting from the left nostril or the right nostril or both, etc.

As one tries to concentrate on this area, one observes the mind has wandered away and has started indulging in thoughts (CE). As soon as one realizes the mind has wandered away, we bring our focus back to the area to observe our breath. After some time, we observe the mind has again wandered away and we bring our focus back to the area to observe the breath. This cycle continues.

Part 7: Day 2 - Reducing the area

We practised Anapanasati but the area was reduced to nose gates and the region between nose gates and the upper lip. The idea is that working with a smaller area will make one’s mind sharper.

Part 8: Insights from Anapanasati

As one practice more, one realizes:

1. It is the nature of the mind to wander and indulge in thoughts (CE)

2. The thoughts are either of past memories or imaginary future events, the mind never wants to stay in the present (observe our breath) (CE)

3. As one keeps on practising, the mind becomes sharper and sharper. One can more quickly realize that the mind has wandered into thoughts. (CE)

4. As one keeps on practising, one can concentrate for a longer duration on the area before the mind wanders away into thoughts. (CE)

5. The more agitated the mind, the more it indulges in thoughts. More calmer is the mind, the more it can concentrate on the area to observe the breath. (CE)

6. As one keeps on practising, one becomes aware of the silent gaps between the end of one thought and the start of the next one. In these gaps, one is just aware of the sensations without any “shadow of thoughts”. (E)

7. As one keeps on practising, these silent gaps increase in duration from less than a second to a few seconds to about a minute to a few minutes. (E)

8. As one keeps on practising, one may reach a state where there is a cessation of thoughts. A state where the thoughts may come and go but one is aware not to indulge with them.

Part 9: Why work with breath?

The breath is the link between the conscious and the unconscious mind.

It can be changed with a conscious effort to a faster or slower rhythm.

Similarly, when strong emotion arises, the breath is unconsciously bound to be faster and shorter (CE)

This is very useful as it can work like an agent/alarm to notify us that a strong emotion has been encountered. As one keeps on practising, one can feel the change in breath whenever a strong emotion has arisen.

Part 10: Day 3 - Somewhere between Anapanasati and Vipassana

My mind became sharper and sharper and I could feel the slightest touch of the breath on my nose gates and the region between the nose and the upper lip.

Now, we were asked not to observe the breath but other sensations in the area. If the mind becomes too distracted, we can go back to Anapanasati and again observe other sensations in the reduced region. I was able to feel itching, perspiration, burning, cold, vibration, pulsation, contraction, expansion etc. I could feel that my skin in the region had different sensations and the muscle underneath had different sensations.

The burning sensation was something I had never experienced before. These sensations are always there but the common mind is not sharp enough to register them.

Every sensation has the same property, they arise and pass away.

Part 11: Day 4 and Day 5 - Start of Vipassana meditation

We had to do the same task as we did on Day 3 ie observe sensations in an area but this time the area kept changing. We had to divide our whole body into small parts. As soon as we observe sensation in a part we had to move to the next part. We did this in order from head to toe and back from toe to head. The order is maintained so that we do not miss a part.

If the mind is getting too distracted, fall back to Anapana and then again start Vipassana.

Part 12: Vipassana - to see things as they really are

Just as we kept our attention on the nose gates and the region between the nose and upper lip and developed sensitivity in this area, we had to do the same for all of the body. We moved our attention from head to toe and from toe to head.

According to Buddha, each small part of our body has some sensation or the other (CPE).

At first, my mind was not sharp enough to register all the sensations in a particular area I was focusing on. With practice, I was able to feel more and more sensations. I was becoming more receptive and sensitive.

While we were moving our attention from head to toe and toe to head, we were told to:

1. Annica: see how the sensations are constantly changing.

2. Accepting the present moment: Accept the sensations as they are and not how we want them to be.

3. Objective looking: Look at sensations objectively, it is not necessary to label sensations but just observe their nature. Dissect and disintegrate each sensation.

4. No craving: If its a pleasant sensation, we do not generate any craving toward the pleasant sensation

5. No aversion: If its an unpleasant sensation, we do not generate any aversion towards the unpleasant sensation

6. Always, maintaining perfect equanimity with all the sensations

In short, we were to be equanimous with any sensation that manifests itself. To be equanimous, one needs objective looking, acceptance of the sensation and keep in mind Annica, this sensation too will pass away.

Part 13: Gautama the Buddha

The Buddha advises:

Don’t accept something:

because you have heard it many times;

because it has been believed traditionally for generations;

because it is believed by a large number of people;

because it is in accordance with your scriptures;

because it seems logical;

because it is in line with your own beliefs;

because it is proclaimed by your teacher, who has an attractive personality and for whom you have great respect.

Accept it only after you have realized it yourself at the experiential level and have found it to be wholesome and beneficial to one and all. Then, not only accept it but also live up to it.

The Buddha advises us not to accept something just because we understand it only at an intellectual level, but also at an experiential level. This is a remarkable statement as throughout our formal education we are taught to accept something if it seems logical. It became clear to me that there is no scope for blind belief or blind faith with this kind of principle.

Part 14: Annica, nature of sensations

It is the nature of sensation to arise and pass away (CE).

Any sensation in the body is changing every moment. The whole body is changing every moment. Every point in the Anapanasati area had constantly changing sensations either in intensity or in its nature. For example, at a certain point, an itching sensation may arise and then it may increase or decrease in intensity and then passes away. Now this point may experience itching again or some different sensation but the sensation is always there. Also, no two sensations are the same ie. no two itchings are the same, no two burning sensations are the same, and no two perspiration sensations are the same. For example, my pain in the knee due to long sittings was changing every moment. The centre point of the pain was changing. I realize what we call pain is a combination of different sensations. I observed my kneecap and tried to find the centre of the pain. It kept shifting every moment. Some areas of the knee were having pulsating sensations, some had burning sensations and some had pressure sensations. All these sensations were constantly changing in intensity. A sensation arises at a certain point in my body and then passes away.

Part 15: Day 6 — Next step of Vipassana

In the next step, we moved our attention from head to toe and back from toe to head by observing symmetric parts together. For example, observing both wrists together, then moving to both pinky fingers and so on.

Part 16: Day 7 — Developing Free Flow and eliminating Blind areas

After 3 days of Anapana and 3 days of Vipassana, the mind becomes very sharp and I developed the capability of observing free flow in the body (CE).

Free flow is a group of sensations which rapidly arise and passes away.

These can be observed only in the body part where the attention is at the moment. One can move the attention slowly along the body and can observe rapidly arising and passing sensations moving with the attention.

It’s hard to describe the exact sensation to someone who hasn’t encountered it before. The rapid arising and passing of sensations can feel like “ subtle vibrations”. It’s changing every moment. It's similar to sensations caused by minute raindrops falling on your skin.

Blind areas are the regions in the body where we can’t observe free flow (CE). Blind areas indicate Saṅkhāra (explained later), that we are not sensitive enough in that region yet.

We were instructed to “sweep” the body in mass using free flow. That is, we have to move our attention along the body part. These rapidly arising and passing sensations will move along the body as we move our attention which is similar to a flow.

Now we perform three steps:

1. Using free flow we detect the blind spots.

2. Move attention from head to toe and toe to head

3. During step 2, observe the blind region sequentially. Spend no more than 2 minutes for a blind region to see if we can feel any sensation in the blind region.

Given enough time, these “solidified” blind region “dissolves” and we can observe free flow in them (CE).

The above three steps are repeated until there are no blind spots left throughout the body.

Part 17: Day 8 — Free flow in different directions

Now, we do not move free flow only along the body part in one direction but in multiple directions. For example, entering from the chest and coming out of the back, entering from the back and coming out of the chest, from head to chest to torso, etc.

In this way, one can feel the 3D surface area of the solidified blind spot (E).

We repeat the same three steps as we did on Day 7.

Part 18: Day 9 - Free flow along the spine

If one can experience free flow throughout the body, one can then start inspecting the spine. Use free flow from multiple directions on the spine and eliminate the blind spots.

A stage comes when there are no more blind spots and there is also free flow in the spine. This stage is called Bhanga nana (CPE).

On reaching Bhanga nana, one observes that there is no solidity left in the body and the whole body is nothing but vibrations.

Buddha advises that this is an important station in the path but also a dangerous one. Dangerous because one can get addicted to the feeling of Bhanga nana and start craving.

Upon reaching Bhanga nana, deeper Sankharas appear in form of blind spots.

Part 19: Two wheels of progress — equanimity and sensitivity

Bhanga nana or not, the meditator’s job is to just meditate and not crave this sensation or that sensation. It happens that one day a meditator can eliminate all the blind spots and the very next day he is not able to. When he/she is not able to, he/she starts craving or aversion and starts condemning himself/herself. The whole mind and body become tense. This is misery.

Whenever we don’t accept the present situation as it is, misery starts.

The above statement doesn’t mean that one doesn't work to improve the situation but accepting the reality of the present moment comes first.

A meditator's job is to accept the reality of this very moment. A meditator's job is to remain equanimous to all the sensations. Rest is left to Dhamma or nature.

Using these exercises, Buddha at an experiential level is teaching us how to work without expectations (E).

Part 20: Craving and aversion are causes of misery

The unconscious mind develops a tremendous amount of attachment to strong sensations. If it’s a pleasant sensation, it generates a craving. If it's an unpleasant sensation, it generates aversion towards it.

The teacher claimed, a Vipassana meditator eventually realizes:

“One is not craving for the object but the sensations caused by the object” (CPE).

That goes with a shared internet percept, “people will forget you but never how you made them feel”.

Part 21: Start to end: Multiplication of misery

The Buddha using Vipassana discovered how misery is generated.

These impressions on the mind created by craving and aversion are known as Saṅkhāras.

Part 22: Where to break the cycle?

Notice the above diagram which shows how misery is multiplied. How to stop creating more and more misery?

One cannot remove all the objects from the universe. One cannot remove the mediums. One cannot destroy all his sense organs (the mind cannot be destroyed). One cannot change the 1st part of the mind. One cannot change the 2nd part of the mind. One cannot change the 3rd part of the mind.

But one can change the 4th part of the mind that reacts to the sensations created in the body.

Buddha discovered if one remains equanimous to the sensations created on the body, then neither craving nor aversion is generated towards the sensations.

In other words, no craving or aversion can originate without a reaction to the sensations.

By remaining equanimous ie. accepting the reality of the moment as it is, and by objectively looking at the sensations and by keeping Annica in mind, one doesn't allow new Saṅkhāra to be generated. By remaining equanimous, one can be free of old Saṅkhāras.

Part 23: Nature of the unconscious mind

The teacher said our unconscious mind is actually not unconscious. Unlike the conscious mind which is aware of the objects outside the body, the unconscious mind is always aware of sensations in the body (C).

For example, if a mosquito in the night has bitten, the unconscious mind reacts and automatically shoos it away or kills it.

The teacher said the unconscious mind is constantly reacting with aversion to unpleasant sensation and with craving towards the pleasant sensations. (CE)

This habit pattern of the unconscious mind needs to be changed.

Part 24: Action and Reaction

Any act where one is aware that I am going to do it, that I am doing it, that I have done it is an action.

Any act where one or more of the above conditions aren't met is a reaction.

One should strive to be conscious of each act. This way one is a master of oneself and not a slave to sensory inputs.

Part 25: How to deal with negative Emotions

Whenever a negative emotion or dukkha (suffering, incapable of satisfying, painful) arises, together with dukkha arises taṇhā (“craving, desire or attachment, lit. “thirst”).

One of the common responses to negative emotions is suppression.

Use of any distraction which takes away attention from the negative emotion is suppression (E).

The distraction can be crude like physical exercises, eating food, hitting walls, chanting mantras or throwing things or it can be subtle like taking a walk, breathing exercises, or drinking a glass of water.

Nor that these activities are bad but by using them as a distraction for suppression, one only puts aside the misery but is not free from it.

At the surface level of the mind, it feels like one has put aside their misery but one has actually suppressed the misery.

It has gone away from the surface level of the mind and has been pushed deep inside. At the surface level, one finds there is calmness and no more negative emotion but at the unconscious or half-conscious level, it keeps on rolling and multiplying (CPE).

These negative emotions from time to time surface at the conscious level of the mind much stronger than before. Suppression is no solution, one can put it aside and get temporary relief but the negative emotion doesn’t go away (E).

The other common way people deal with negative emotion is by giving full expression to it. For example, when anger arises start shouting or beating or quarrelling or overthinking. These are even more dangerous as not only do these actions punish your own mind and body but also everyone around you. These actions can become a source of misery for another person who will again shout, quarrel or beat you or someone else and spread misery in the bigger picture (E).

The Buddha gave the middle path for dealing with negative emotion ie neither to suppress nor give it a free licence to express it at a physical level but to just observe.

Observe the sensations caused by these negative emotions in your body which is neither suppression nor full expression. If one keeps on observing the sensation caused by the negative emotion, it eventually passes away and one is free from it (CPE).

Part 26: Day 10 — Mettā Bhāvanā and breaking of noble silence

On the 10th day, we were taught another meditation technique called Mettā Bhāvanā.

It is a technique whereby we radiate loving-kindness and goodwill toward all beings, deliberately charging the atmosphere around us with the calming, positive vibrations of pure and compassionate love. The Buddha instructed his followers to develop mettā so as to lead more peaceful and harmonious lives and to help others to do so as well.

By being thankful and loving to all, one generates good sensations throughout the body.

Unlike Vippasana where free flow is limited to the body, we were instructed to free flow ( or radiate) vibrations outwards (CE). I was able to develop the feeling of oozing out good vibrations from the body. It felt as if all the skin pores have opened up. One is filled with joy and love after this meditation.

Mettā Bhāvanā was done after the end of every Vipassana sitting on the 10th day.

In the evening, we were told to break the noble silence and talk to fellow meditators although no one was allowed to touch each other physically.

Part 27: Day 11 — End of course and goodbye

On day 11, we did one more morning session and we were dismissed by 9 AM. If one wishes to donate, one could donate at the donation building. No teacher or fellow meditators know if someone has donated or not. The donation is used for the continuation of the course for the next meditators. The teachers aren’t given any money and they have their own medium of financing their life. This ensure centre doesn’t become a place of business. The only reason for teachers to teach is because of the goodwill and spread of Dhamma. One could also serve the same day by cleaning and preparing sitting pillows for the next course.

We were instructed to do 1 hr of meditation sitting in the morning and evening in our daily lives.

Part 28: Closing remarks

Following are the benefits I observed personally:

1. I developed the capability of recognizing strong emotions and not letting them control me. Whenever a strong emotion arises, my breath becomes shorter and quicker. When I recognize the start of strong emotions, I observe the sensations caused by them throughout my body. This helps me maintain my peace and not let emotions control me.

2. I developed the capability of improving my mood. Whenever I am in an agitated state, by doing Vipassana I am able to bring my mood to a calm and neutral state.

3. I developed the capability to stop overthinking or stop my running mind. Whenever I practice Vipassana, sooner or later, the mind is bound to slow down or in other words increase the gap between two thoughts and reduce the frequency of thoughts.

4. I developed the capability of moving into a blissful state. I do it by sitting/ laying down in a comfortable position, keeping my eyes closed and being aware of all the sensations occurring in the body at the same time.

5. I learnt a technique which helps me become more and more aware and observe the truth at an experiential level

Vipassana’s primary goal is to observe truth and be free from all the miseries. All other things are byproducts.

This technique has helped me it may help you as well. Don’t go with any expectations and fruits are bound to come. I encourage you all to attend the course and benefit from this logical technique where there is no need for dogma or belief.

May all beings have happy minds.

Part 29: External Links

Course details:

1. Details of the course
2. Anapana Meditation For All (English — 10 mins)
3. Anapana Meditation For All (Hindi — 10 mins)
4. FAQs on Vipassana Meditation

SN Goenka short videos:

1. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | The habit pattern of the mind
2. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | How to deal with negative Emotions
3. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | The 4 Parts of the Mind
4. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | Physical, Vocal and Mental Action
5. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | Intellectual understanding and the experience of truth
6. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | Dought — “A teacher with no supernatural powers”
7. Vipassana | S.N. Goenka | Why Vipassana Courses are free of charge

Documentaries and other talks

1. Experiment by Kiran Bedi: Vipassana in Tihar Jail ( English)
2. Experiment by Kiran Bedi: Vipassana in Tihar Jail ( Hindi)
3. Courses in Prisons
4. Yuval Noah Harari (author of Sapiens) on Vipassana, Reality, Suffering, & Consciousness
5. Yuval Noah Harari — The Buddhist Way to Happiness
6. Acharya S.N. Goenka addresses the United Nations (English)
7. Experiences of Vipassana Meditators (English)
8. Atanu Bardhan on Quora
9. Sunil Shah on Quora